Unstable and emotionally broken individuals will leave evidence of their unhealed scars wherever they go.

Over the years, I’ve learned that there are some people who, for one reason or another, are not capable of maintaining healthy relationships.

They may be able to feel love. They may be able to desire friendships. However, in the long run, their toxic behaviors manifest and deeply impacts their relationships negatively, so they always end up alone or in terrible unhealthy relationships. I call these people “broken. ”They are too broken to love because they do not, cannot, or will not behave appropriately or the right way with their family members, partners, coworkers and friends.

They do not know what healthy relationships are. An emotionally damaged person lacks self-love. They have tried to burry their heart as a measure of protection. This is why they seem so cold and calculated.

They will always seek validation or affirmation on a continuous basis. And if they can’t obtain that affirmation and validation they seek, they will just create it through chaos and crisis. So they can appear to save the day and obtain the praises they seek.

It’s hard for these individuals to build trust, due to their own untrustworthy behaviors. It’s difficult for these individuals to adhere to encouragement.

Why?

Because as life moves on over time , they are struggling with internal wounds of the past, past heartbreaks, unresolved dilemmas, childhood trauma, reoccurring mental victimization, depression and anxiety. Those are also Symptoms of the onset of mental illness.

It’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. Wounded people wound others. When someone lashes out at you in an extreme way, that is abrupt, or display abrupt unforeseen temperamental behaviors, it is likely not about the surface issue at hand.

We need wisdom to know how to love emotionally unhealthy people. I wish I could say that everyone on the mission field is healthy and will always behave in a mature and godly manner. It’s just not true.

The reality is, most of individuals struggle at times with unhealthy responses and over-reactions. They get triggered by things that are said or done that effects there unresolved internal dilemmas. Something deep inside responds…the wounded child, not the mature adult.

God wants us to develop a compassionate view toward those who are suffering. We must recognize their outbursts and over-reactions as a cry for help. These are symptoms of deeper problems. We must learn not to take them personally. This isn’t easy. It’s not easy at all.

You can help them by:

• Setting clear boundaries.
• Do not allow the individuals take up your time with negativity.
• Don’t allow yourself to be lead astray with their “it’s them not me, it’s them“ victim stories.
• Encouraged and redirect them.
• Speak about things that are good , positive and of a good report .
• Be consistent
• Have keen discernment
• Stay healthy yourself
•  Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18